


in melancholy memories

by flosrobur



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mention of blood, law student!iwaizumi, photographer!tooru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25502500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flosrobur/pseuds/flosrobur
Summary: He felt like drowning. Down, down, down. Until the water was part of him and he didn't struggle to breathe anymore. Then his breath hitched, and his lungs ached and everything was starting all over again.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	in melancholy memories

**Author's Note:**

> made this for a fic exchange on twt! this one's for [@MERAKIIVIV](https://twitter.com/MERAKIIVIV)
> 
> heavily inspired by Kodaline's [All I Want](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtf7hC17IBM)
> 
> listen to the song for more feels hehe. enjoy! <3

Tooru was deep in thought. 

He felt like drowning. Down, down, down. Until the water was part of him and he didn't struggle to breathe anymore. Then his breath hitched, and his lungs ached and everything was starting all over again. 

_ Iwaizumi.  _

It was all his mind could conjure at two o'clock in the morning. His heart felt...empty. Like a hollowed hole was left inside —  _ a void Iwa-chan used to fill,  _ he thought and chuckled somberly at the stupid nickname.

He remembered the day they first met. The clouds were deep grey, almost black, rain was pouring hard but he was looking for  _ something  _ and that pull made him get out of bed to roam the city. His fingers itched to take a photograph, like he was waiting for an event to happen but he doesn't know what it was or when it would come. 

He pointed his camera at the entrance of the café, tested it out as he planned to take practice shots. The city did look pretty on a rainy day, the wet and dotted glass panes of the café provided a beautiful sight of melancholy and haze. 

So Tooru clicked, and as he did he heard a soft  _ ding. _

The shot appeared on the camera's tiny screen. It seemed like Tooru had taken a photo of a boy, dripping wet from the heavy rain that poured outside. Tooru observed the shot, it looked good _ , for an unplanned subject.  _ The boy was looking up, his hand holding the door — an indication that he had just entered the café — he was looking directly at the menu while his other hand ran through his wet hair. 

_ He would be a magnificent muse,  _ Tooru thinks but he pushed the thought away. That didn't stop him from editing the photo immediately though. 

"Delete that," he heard an unfamiliar voice from behind him. 

Tooru turned around and put on a charming smile. 

“Hi!” Tooru exclaimed, cheerfully. “I’m Oikawa Tooru, can I call you mine?”

The dark haired boy rolled his eyes as he released a ‘tch’.

Tooru looked around and found that the cafe was full. He smiled and gestured at the seat across from him, “Feel free to take that. Everywhere else is occupied.”

The boy rolled his eyes (again) and took the seat. Seemingly unsure of what to do next, he kept tapping his fingers on the table while Tooru switched from staring at his screen and at the stranger as seconds passed. 

“So, what’s your name?” Tooru asked.   
  


“Iwaizumi Hajime,” the boy — Iwaizumi — replied curtly.

"I'm sorry if I took a photo of you. It was accidental but honestly, I’m kind of glad how it turned out." Tooru chuckled.

"I’ll sue you,” Iwaizumi threatened. Tooru only laughed and stuck his tongue out —  _ very mature of him.  _

“I know you won’t,  _ Iwa-chan. _ ”

Tooru wasn't a romantic, not really, but at that moment he felt like this was the something he waited for and he felt stupid and giddy at the same time. 

A few months of lunch dates and dinners, photography lessons and political discussions — Iwaizumi was a political science student — and attending mobs and protests and pride parades together, they were officially and exclusively dating.

It was — for the lack of better word — beautiful. Tooru never felt awkward around Iwaizumi, since the day at the café. He was never the type to talk openly about feelings and all those mushy things. He wasn't a romantic, but that was before Iwaizumi came. Everything felt right and beautiful and romantic with Iwaizumi. Hell, they could just be sprawled on Tooru's apartment floor, studying for finals and Tooru would feel like it was the most perfect thing in his life. 

Their first kiss was another story, it wasn't like in the movies where they went home after a perfect date with roses and dinner and violins. Nope. It was under a tree, on a summer day when the sun was extra bright and hot. They were both sweaty after taking a walk in the city because Iwaizumi was feeling anxious for his first year in law school and Tooru knew that his boyfriend liked walking around and he thought maybe a breath of fresh air would help. 

They sat under the shade of an old tree, they held hands while Iwaizumi hummed a song he had been listening to for a week now and Tooru was playing with their intertwined fingers. 

"Do you ever think of kissing?" Tooru asked out of the blue which made Iwaizumi stop humming to look at his boyfriend. 

"Eh?" Iwaizumi asked, his eyebrow raised. “What are you talking about?”

"Kissing, Iwa-chan. Putting your lips on mine," Tooru answered with a playful wink. “Or vice versa.”

Iwaizumi chuckled, which Tooru loved. Next thing Tooru knew, Iwaizumi pulled his face close, he stopped just before their lips met.  _ He's asking for permission,  _ Tooru thought. 

Tooru closed the gap between them and their lips met. They found it hard at first because of how their noses bumped and because of Tooru's round glasses but they got through the awkwardness and Tooru was so happy he asked that question because Iwaizumi's lips were so soft. He felt like he was in heaven. 

After that day, Tooru always seemed to look for a way to kiss Iwaizumi and all Iwaizumi could do was feign annoyance and make sure he always took Tooru's glasses off before it turned into a full blown make out session.

Few months into their relationship, Iwaizumi met Tooru's family back at home. 

It was during their semestral break and Tooru was so against Iwaizumi going home with him because of the fact that he needed to rest. Iwaizumi barely had sleep, especially during exam days, but he managed to convince Tooru that he would be taking lots of rest in their home to which Tooru rolled his eyes at and replied with, “Just admit that you’ll miss me.” 

Though it convinced him to take him home anyway.

Tooru wasn't exactly  _ out  _ to his family, so you could imagine the shock  _ he _ had when his father, mother, and two younger brothers acted like him taking home a boy they barely knew was the most normal thing in the world.

His father was admittedly scary at first, even Tooru was frightened. He was all military strict when he talked to Iwaizumi. Tooru's poor boyfriend might as well be physically shaking but he faced Tooru’s father with a solid stance. Tobio and Kentarou were a different story. The latter basically attached himself to Iwaizumi, while the former watched Tooru’s boyfriend with sparkling eyes. Tooru felt a bit jealous but he was happy they got along well.

They made sure to tour Iwaizumi around their little town. It had more café's and convenience stores than Tooru remembered but he's been away from home since senior high school — he was the kind of kid who had left home early for a sense of independence — when you pass the entrance exams  _ and  _ get a full scholarship to your dream school, you don't really allow the opportunity to pass. 

They visited the court the Oikawa brother's usually played volleyball in, the small store they often went to for a snack after, and then the elementary school Tooru went to when he was just a child. 

When the sun was almost gone from the horizon, Tooru and Iwaizumi helped in the kitchen. Once they were almost done, only waiting for food to cook, Tooru found himself staring at his boyfriend. The way Iwaizumi wiggled himself into Tooru's life felt so natural, like everything was already planned out and these things were supposed to happen. And just as he thought he couldn't fall in love with this man more, he came to Tooru’s home and earned the respect and love of his whole family, too. This brought a smile to Tooru's lips.

Iwaizumi became family after that.

The same year, Tooru and Iwaizumi spent their first Christmas and new year together. 

Neither could visit their families due to deadlines and requirements. They were content with the presence of each other and their friends, and it was a great Christmas and new year's celebration for both of them. They spent the night clumsily kissing, with their mouths tasting like beer. Tooru was more giggly under the influence of alcohol and Iwaizumi kept pinching his boyfriend's nose.

During their one year anniversary, Tooru took Iwaizumi back to the café they first met. He took a million pictures of him this time. 

"I'm going to have my first portrait of you framed, we'll hang it on our apartment." Tooru suggested, a grin pasted on his face. 

"Nope. You should let someone take a picture of  _ us  _ and we'll hang that in  _ our _ apartment."

There was something about how Iwaizumi said 'us' and 'our' that made Tooru's heart flutter, he grinned wider. 

"Okay." Tooru nodded, still smiling. 

"We'll only change it with a bigger portrait of us on our wedding day and we'll hang it in our actual house," Iwaizumi promised. His eyes  _ twinkled  _ and Tooru found him so much more beautiful than he already was. 

"Let's do that." Tooru was grinning so hard he swore his cheeks would hurt after, but he didn't mind. Not at all. Not when Iwaizumi was talking so happily about their future.

They asked one of the staff to take their picture after that and had it developed and framed on the same day. Iwaizumi placed it in the living room of Tooru's apartment (which he also called his). Each time Tooru woke up to the sight of it, his day was already made.

Yet in the present time, Tooru only had a thin pressed line on his face. He was not frowning, nor was he crying. No. Tooru felt nothing and everything at the same time. His eyes carried huge dark bags under them and he didn't even know how he convinced himself to get out of bed, take a bath and get dressed. 

Clad in black, Tooru stared (but not really) at his reflection in the full length mirror. His room, one that he borrowed and was renting from one of the Iwaizumi family's close friend, was a mess. His camera stayed untouched, he barely got any sleep and he felt like nothing was going right. He didn't have it in him to cry.

Grief did things to a person, and this was its effect on Tooru — barely functioning, he only got up when people huddled in the childhood home of Iwaizumi. Relatives and friends from all around, some Tooru barely knew, were gathered to pay their respects and offer their condolences. 

Tooru only smiled, welcomed them, and made small talk. On this cycle went as each new person passed through the doors. Some of Iwaizumi’s batch mates even came, Tooru was half-heartedly catching up with them when he saw the faces of the people he's wanted to run to since all of this started. 

His mother entered first, followed by his father, and then his brothers. Tooru held it together until his family had offered their courtesies to Iwaizumi’s parents. 

When his mother came to him and hugged him, he finally broke down. His mother simply held him. His father and brothers patted his back without saying anything. 

A car accident. Tooru recalled the blood, the shattered glass all around, the sound of sirens from the police and the ambulance — the image he remembered most vividly — Iwaizumi's shattered face and body. Pronounced dead on the spot, Tooru heard his heart break to a million little pieces. Like the world somehow crashed and burned in front of him. 

There was barely any time to process it all when the medics took him away to check his injured body. He was half blinded then, blood covered a good amount of his face. He thrashed violently when Iwaizumi was placed on a stretcher, his form lifeless. Tooru wanted to see him one last time, wanted to touch his face and see the light shine brightly from his eyes, but the blinding lights of red, blue, and white made Tooru’s head hurt. 

He woke up the morning after with Iwaizumi inside a cremation jar. This time, it was Tooru who crashed and burned as the world looked at him with pity in their eyes and comforted him with empty words from their mouths.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and i hope v likes this.


End file.
